An edited version of my journal entry on June 5, 2017:
Abe is still asleep. It’s 8:05 am, the kitchen oven says. It’s Monday morning and I’m standing in the kitchen drinking coffee and eating vegan donuts. I’m standing at the counter because I know Abe will wake up at any moment – he just did. I had to finish that last sentence while holding Abe in my arms.
The children noticed an uptick of U-hauls as we circled our community on a walk last Saturday. The girls rode on scooters and had to maneuver around the moving trucks, various people and furniture. It’s moving season, I guess. Is that why I feel the urge to move?
We met my friend for lunch that day. She spoke of wanting to move too. She said her living situation was fine but she felt an itch for something new. I felt the same way. Perhaps, it’s because I know it is the next step for our family: a house with a yard and an extra room for Abe. But we are happy here, for now.
Watching the trucks and people coming and going, reminded me – this isn’t a permanent place. But then again, what’s a permanent place? I guess, the proper way to say it would be “long-term residence.” Anyway, I’m eager for our next chapter but I know I need to remain patient and trust we’ll find the right place when the time is right. For now, I’ll enjoy our little condo of love. I’ll keep trying keep it clean, organized and feeling like home. I’ll bring in more plants to keep this space feeling alive – breathing with life. I am grateful for our home, but I would really love some new kitchen counters.
Monday morning, while Abe slept and the oven taunted me with time, I took a picture of my coffee, donuts and journal in the kitchen but the grout between the white tiles was stained brown. I was too embarrassed to share it.
Later on, I moved my breakfast and journal to the coffee table and took a picture suitable enough to share.
There are many imperfections here, some are easier to share than others, and some will follow us no matter where we move.