With Ease. 

On the way to a birthday party with my children in the car, I felt like I couldn’t keep up with it all-the parties, the kids, the socializing, and the mess I’d left behind. I managed to get to this point through deep breaths and reminding myself, “One moment at a time.” 

The next moment, I was at a stoplight waiting to turn left. High above me flew a miniature airplane. It wasn’t actually miniature, only appeared to be so. My attention drew back to life-sized cars and the roads before me. With traffic at a standstill, I watched a butterfly cross the road. It fluttered up and down in a joyful bounce directly over the crosswalk. The perfect timing amazed me. It were as though the butterfly knew, it was her turn to go. Like every other pedestrian who had crossed the road before her, she had done so with ease. 
The birthday party was the day of Daylight Savings Time. Abe missed his nap due to the time change. I bounced and walked him around in the baby carrier until he finally fell asleep. Carefully, I unwrapped him from the carrier and placed him on a blanket in the grass. 

“That’s a dream right there.” A fellow parent said. 

He wished his kids would have slept outside when they were babies. 

I sat back in the grass satisfied for a moment as Abe slept peacefully under the trees. His sisters played nearby. I tried to read but had too many thoughts running through the fields in my mind. Had I accomplished something? 

The positive reinforcement from one of my peers confirmed I had. I wondered if, he thought, I had performed the task with ease. 

As I transferred my baby from carrier to blanket, had I done so gracefully? 

Perhaps, there was a bit of grace in the moment. However, it took more breaths than I could count and a lot more kind words to myself throughout the day. I was exhausted. Life hadn’t felt easy. But I knew what I was capable of. I could breathe through the chaos, be present enough to notice life’s blessings, and could perform at least one moment with ease.

Author: AshleyKagaoan

Ashley Kagaoan: wife, mother, writer, Libra, human. She currently resides in Southern California with her family.